Let’s face it, not all sexual experiences are equal. Whereas we’ve all (hopefully) had some mind blowing sex sessions that require us to reapply the bedsheets and make our friends clutch their pearls as we reminisce, we’ve probably also had some more forgettable encounters as well. There are many factors that affect which experience we will have, but did you know that we have a surprising amount of control over how our rendezvous turns out? Here are five keys to getting the most from your hot-and-heavy sessions.
Why is it important to control your breathing when running? During yoga? Meditation? In addition to oxygenating your muscles so you can perform better, having intentional breathing can relax your body and steady your thoughts. It helps you feel sensations differently and makes it easier to release the stress so you and your partner can find your happy place. Try having your partner go slowly while you close your eyes and breathe deeply. Then when you feel like you’re floating, change the pace while still breathing intentionally and see what happens!
When you’re in the moment, be in the moment. It’s so easy for us to be thinking about a range of things from how your body looks to how you’re doing. These thoughts put up a small invisible barrier to getting the most out of your intimate moment, so if you want to have the best experience possible, shut off your brain and force yourself to focus on what feels good to you. Simply by doing this one step, you make the chances of arriving at the promised land of O’s much more likely.
Variety is the spice of life, and nowhere is that more true than in movements during intimacy. If you and your partner keep doing the same movements it starts to lose effect, so think about how you can switch things up a few times during your romp. Perhaps you vary the depth and force of strokes, change direction, angle, or intensity. Often, your partner will follow your lead and it will keep it spicy for both of you.
When reading body language, the eyes are truly the window to the soul. We as humans use the eyes to determine how we should feel about the person in front of us, and as a result what we look at, and how, can be one of the most effective ways of conveying our thoughts and emotions. Try looking mischievously, lustfully, or passionately at your partner before you all tangle. Grab your partner and pull them closer to you while looking deep into their eyes during sex. Slow down during foreplay and look at your partner in the eyes while taking your time handling them. Then start to forcefully speed up while maintaining eye contact.
Telling your partner what you want gives them the confidence to feel like they are doing a great job, while helping you get exactly what you need. Be open and honest, give tips to what you want done to you, and provide instructions while letting the lust seep through your voice. Tell your partner when you want them to continue doing something you enjoy. Tell them how sexy it is when they nibble on you. Encourage them and tell them what you want and how much you like it when they do it.
It’s about time you take control of your experience using all the tools available to you. Start with controlling your breathing, and clearing your mind so you’re only focusing on what makes you feel great. Channel the passion, energy, and activity you want and communicate that to your lover. They will rise to the challenge and you will enjoy some amazing nights (or days)!